Setting Your Inner Peace Table This Thanksgiving

Once upon a time, many years ago, long before the internet, cell phones, and food delivery, my family gathered for our Thanksgiving feast wearing donated winter coats and hats.

Our feast occurred by candlelight, inside the shell of a log cabin we were building on the site where our farmhouse burned down months before. 

With no heat, hot water, or electricity, it was still an ideal space to gather rather than inside the small trailer our family was living in temporarily. 

Mom's love language is to serve up meals. She managed to cook our entire meal in the trailer, and it was our role to carry the feast across the driveway to the space we would one day call our new home.

I was there, seated in a pink hat, with my father to my right and my brother directly across from me. My brother was in the first year of healing as a whole-body burn victim of our farmhouse fire. On the other hand, we were all burned when our father decided to jump ship away from his wife and five children shortly after. 

As you might imagine, it was a time primed to welcome in the devils of uncertainty, fear, doubt, and disappointment. And I can only guess how many moments of internal despair my mother must have felt as her head hit the pillow each night.

Looking at this photo of that Thanksgiving, it occurred to me today that I seem out of place. Can you see how?

To me, I can see that I'm the only one smiling. As I contemplate this, I imagine it was perfect timing that caught my childlike energy and raw joy, a brief capture of light from a smile through dark times. 

Despite our family living in poverty or the turkey growing colder by the minute on the table, it wasn't the winter coat that kept me warm but the togetherness I felt in my heart. 

Imaginative play during our time of uncertainty worked to make each survival stage beyond family trauma feel like a warm and welcoming adventure vs. a cold, scary, unpredictable time. 

In my mind, I imagined we were a family living in the 1800s. After all, we lived in the middle of nowhere; we had kerosene lamps ablaze, no car, no television, and everyone was at work in their role to keep each other going.

Imagining our family as living in another period was not an escape route from reality. There was no escape from the physical realities all around us. Imagination allowed for in-the-moment inner creative connection toward acceptance of our circumstances. And that imagination made it possible to feel joy.

Today, I think of the quote attributed to Einstein, who said: "Your imagination is your preview to life's coming attractions." 

If you think about it, we can create any future vision of possibilities. Through our imaginations, we can learn to embrace what's in front of us by creating a new story around our circumstances. 

It is not a delusion to enter the imagination or denial of our situations to create new storylines that bring about positive inner change in thinking and emotion. With the power of our minds at play, we can create a feeling of joy in the moment at any time.

During that time, following our family's house fire, while my brother was living with unbearable pain as a burn victim in the hospital, my mother used to take my brother through meditation. She had him imagine himself soaking in a beautiful blue ocean. It was the first time I saw the power of guided meditation to relieve pain.

I love that we don't have to be a child to spark a beginner's mind in our circumstances. Creativity and curiosity live inside of us. We're only one decision away from rediscovering those parts of ourselves that can help us add light to our situation of darkness. 

As a child, I became more curious about how life could play out now that I'd experienced the worst drama. Without electricity, I read by candlelight or flashlight and got creative writing plays. Living in those private moments, I was in connection with the magical, joyful energy that lives inside of me. 

I didn't know it then, but when my mind was open to reimagining our family's situation, my body and soul aligned with inner Harmony! 

Long before AI swooped in to assist us in various capacities, we humans had built-in AI (authentic imaginative) capabilities and the power to create a new preview of life's coming attractions and that inner Harmony we all desire. 

Imagine your next attraction beyond the turmoil you may be experiencing. What do you see in your mind's eye? And if you can't yet see, smile. And if smiling isn't your way, what gesture could emerge as a light to others through the darkness? 

What about those situations when you can't see, feel, or smile through your circumstances? Of course, specific trauma and grief may need professional intervention from a therapist. 

For other healing, I take my imagination back to curiosity. 

I ask myself: How might I change this picture before me? Imagine walking up to a child. How might you help them acknowledge their situation and help them spark joy from within?

I was in an authentic-imaginative childlike energy that allowed me to conjure up possibilities beyond the nightmare of our family's reality--that same energy you and we all possess. As we age, have you noticed it's sometimes impossible to see beyond our circumstances?

Worse, if we had an adult burying our hopes and dreams at a very early age, our authenticity might have gotten buried along with it. And where does that leave us? 

Well, if you haven't noticed, many of us become pretenders, pretending our way through life that all is well or that nothing hurts or bothers us, doing everything we can to mask our emotions. 

Suppose someone you trust today swoops in to crush your hopes and dreams or leaves you to "fend for yourself" in your time of despair and attempt to rebuild. 

How do you go about accepting the decisions of others whom you once put your trust in? Where do you begin to feel thanks for your blessings, let alone give back to others or receive support from others? Finally, how can we bring the light of joy despite an unforeseen poverty-stricken circumstance?

To help us all along this Thanksgiving, and before we sit down for our next feast, let us ask ourselves these questions: 

🍁Am I being honest with myself? Or am I putting on a pretend brave face for others for fear they'll perceive me as weak? Is this 'strong' label a considerate contribution to my family?

🍁What devil of fear must I drop to authentically and emotionally connect with my spouse, children, and friends and dream new possibilities? Am I afraid of rejection? 

Let us reconnect with our authentic selves. Fortunately for us, authenticity is not like adolescence. We don't outgrow it. We need to resurrect it to bring genuine, warm smiles no matter how cold your surroundings are! 

I say often that now is the time to learn to rest in Peace, not to wait until we are dead. When we consider the word spirit derives from the word breath, it makes sense to keep our spirits breathing in rhythmic Peace today rather than erratic panic every day.

The other good reminder is that imagination is not something only some people "have." You're likely highly skilled at imagining the worst-case scenarios in your life! 

What if today you tried to conjure up joyful energy through your imagination that may feel unreal initially but can bring about genuine childlike magical energy from within?

At an early age, I learned that I didn't have to imagine bad things happening--and that may be your story, too. The burning reality of destruction was all around me. I was in a real-life dramatic play with fear and post-trauma abandonment. Thankfully, the joyful inner child and imagination were in operation to console me.

Dramatic change, as you know, can happen in an instant and without your permission. With that life evidence at play, I'm sure you know the challenge of being able to paint a new picture. We may not be children anymore, but there's no reason we can't resurrect that childlike energy and beginner's mind!

In my childhood step, with my authentic self, I was left open to imagine positive possibilities beyond circumstances and paint a new picture for myself. 

How do I keep that authenticity flowing today that may help you?

Fortunately, those around me nurtured my authentic imagination. It helped that I was blessed to be an active participant in theatre. 

Others speak of sports and athletic metaphors as ways to inspire and create "success," to feel accomplished, and to "be the best," I know not everyone feels fulfilled having reached academic or financial "success". If you're here, you know there's more to life than winning at a career game building your reputation, applause, and awards. 

As someone in my community, I know you want to experience a deeper connection with life. You seek the heart and soul growth in your most intimate relationship with yourself and those closest to you!

It's more than self-care; it's a deep connection with humanity that you long for in this season of life.

Many years ago, I took my lessons from professional theatrical play and craft to pay forward how we can live a life of greater significance beyond academic achievements and money success--in authentic connection back to ourselves, no matter our situation, with our families and others through times of uncertainty.

I've lived in both financial camps, from poverty to a highly cushy bank account. In each place, I had to bring my own matches to light the fires from within when external circumstances changed.

If your relationships have gone cold, or it's lights out on our career in this season of Thanksgiving, I challenge you to think of yourself as an actor in a play rehearsal momentarily. You're getting ready to attend a feast. The host has asked you to bring Inner Peace and Harmony. How would your character create that recipe?

First, one myth about actors is this: they are pretending. Pretending is the opposite of authenticity. We've all seen the difference between fake tears on screen that make us squirm and emotionally connected actors whose character portrayal effectively tugs at our heartstrings.

Authenticity is about genuine connection with self and the emotional life that makes us human. In setting a table of Inner Peace at your next feast it may require you to imagine yourself as the curious observer in your family vs. the judgemental critic inside your head. How might that change the energy at the table?

A great acting coach once said: "Before you can believe in or connect with anything outside yourself, you must learn to be with yourself, in genuine contemplation and exploration with what's inside." 

This reconnection process with self, as if we are actors meeting our characters for the first time in this season of uncertainty or uncomfortable gatherings, allows for healthy distance and exploration in our present approach with others.

Reimagining in this mind, body, and spirit way moves us beyond inspiration into active (vulnerable) territory with all parts of ourselves. 

It's not therapy or coaching; it's the power of curiosity and imagination at play through theatrical inspiration. It's not about applause or winning an Oscar for best performance. It's about the raw connection back to that inner child that exists. It's about the daring backstage work that goes on when no one is looking.

As adults, it's not a comfortable process and can be scary, so you may ask, why do it in the first place? 

As I've learned from my students, there's much-unexpected joy and magic when you imagine stepping into the shoes of yourself as if for the first time. In that objective space, you free yourself of judgments. With a beginner's mind open, you can explore inner conflicts and the emotional life of your character in this season of life and circumstance without fear of rejection from others.

Years ago, our family survived a house fire. What was left was fear, doubt, and severe insecurity. There was also abundant love, joy, fun, and optimism made possible due to the childlike energy our family tapped into. 

Amidst loss due to fire, flood, injury, bankruptcy, or divorce, one thing we might all do today is become an actor in objective observation. To dare shed a phony mask of pretend to connect to real emotions.

Finally, we might be ready to exercise self-forgiveness for expecting life and relationships to go our way. With that authentic connection and release, imagine your way out of the cold ashes of uncertainty and into the arms of warm Harmony. How does that feel?

INVITATION: This year I'm gathering wisdom to create an Inner Peace Table and Virtual Feast of Harmonious Thanksgiving. To add your unique flavor of wisdom to our Inner Peace Table GO HERE